Comments on: no perfect marriage

By: patsy

patsy — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:36:37 +0000

By the way….Forgot to mention. You do not throw away the car just because you had a tire to blow out. Just fix the tire and get back on the road. Love all you young folk. Have fun living life.

By: patsy

patsy — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:34:06 +0000

Not funny advice, but the advice that has help us was to Keep God in the marriage. Not church, even though we had plenty of that, my husband was music minister for 40 years, but God. We made a covenant to each other and before God and we have been faithful to that covenant. What God joins, with his help, no man can divide.

Secondly, the advice was to find and keep a large circle of friends. 3 Kinds: 1. Keep those that you can encourage and help along life’s spiritual journey, then you are not so focused on yourself. 2. Keep those friends that are friends that are like you with similar beliefs, likes and dislikes. You can just be yourself and you all understand each other. 3) But most importantly seek out those friends that are more mature and that are true to God. They will challenge you to move to the next level of spirituality.

Marriage is work. But how many of you would purchase a car and expect to drive it a life time without changing the oil, washing and waxing, refueling, new batteries, tires etc. It is a constant thing, keeping a car in shape. But it pays off in the long run. So it is with marriage.

Celebrated my 37 yr in marriage to my best friend and soul mate. And yes I would do it all over again. For us there were options but not divorce. We always by the Grace to God, worked things out.

Kyle, it is worth it and I highly recommend it. You just haven’t found the right person. Plenty of girls in NC.

By: matt

matt — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:52:08 +0000

no doubt. i’ll see if i can find someone to take a liver. have any black market connections? i’ll try to find a way to get up to st. louis and speak soon…

By: Kyle Reed

Kyle Reed — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:27:00 +0000

Matt, on it, well maybe one day I will be on it.
Or we could sell some organs and take that money and give it to your church and then I could work with you.
But yes, we do need to hang again. You never know what could happen though.

By: matt

matt — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:58:08 +0000

kyle, you are hilarious. i wish you lived in nashville! let’s find a way to hang again…

By: Kyle Reed

Kyle Reed — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 14:57:15 +0000

Here is what someone told me when about marriage….”Don’t do it”

So far, I have made it to 23 without getting married, I guess it was good advice.

By: matt

matt — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:56:32 +0000

haha. so great to hear! congrats on being married for 21 yrs!

By: matt

matt — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:55:53 +0000

great observation denise. i agree. pastoral counseling definitely makes a difference. if nothing else, helping decide if the marriage should actually happen or not. definitely letting emotions die down when their high is best…

By: bluegoose

bluegoose — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:28:30 +0000

“Marriages are hard work.” AMEN, AMEN and AMEN!!!!
Our marriage has gotten really difficult at times and I have to remember that I made a promise…to God, my dear hubs and in front of 150 people! “For better OR worse!”
I would not trade these 21 yrs for anything, though!!! Seriously!

By: Denise

Denise — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:10:34 +0000

//My pre-marital counseling classes didn’t really prepare me for the marriage journey I started.//

Ahh… but I’ve quickly been noticing in my friends marriages, whose that DID do pre-marital counseling (most specifically at their church) have made it through many rough patches. A majority (not all, but most) of those that didn’t have any counseling have since gotten divorced. It saddens me every time I hear of another marriage ending.

As for me and my husband, our strongest point is always to just communicate. Talk to each other. Keep a pulse on the “state of the union.” It’s carried us through and helped keep potential big issues be “nipped in the bud” before they get too big.

Though. You know. I’ve found the silent treatment to work pretty good on occasion, too. hehe

But in all seriousness, I’m a big fan of going to separate corners for awhile, THEN addressing an issue when emotions aren’t so high. Sure helps keep you from saying something you wish you could take back.