Matthew Costner

I’m 29 now. My birthday was last Sunday, May 25th. It’s funny how as the years continue to come and go, my life doesn’t seem to change a whole lot. I’m getting older, yet the things I have always struggled with are still there to some degree. I’m still a broken man, and guess I always will be. I’m still scared about life. I’m still fearful of not being the best I can be. I still hope I’m in God’s Will for my life. I wonder if I was ever truly known by someone, that they would stick around and love me.

Do you ever think about those things? I can’t help but wonder sometimes if this (my life) is really what God planned. I mean is the road that I am to walk on ever going to get easy? Is it supposed to be?

It’s been such a hard week that I was hoping that I could find some encouragement in the Scriptures. I started reading in John, but found what I really needed to hear in the very next section in Mark. Not only did I find encouragement, but I also found a challenge.

The disciples were out in a boat in the middle of the sea. A storm came up and they got scared. They actually thought that they were going to drown, so scared may not be the best word. But they ran to Jesus for help. Jesus calmed the storm and then asked the question that I am sure caught the disciples off guard and slapped me in my face. He asked, “Do you still have no faith?”

Dang! I mean, I’m 29. I work in the church. I preach at other churches. And yet I still struggle with my faith. I can’t begin to tell you how many storms in my own life Jesus has calmed, yet each time a storm brews, my faith seems to get lost. I’ve sat around a lot lately and thought about why this may be. I think the answer is that I often don’t feel worthy to go to God for help because I hear and buy into the world’s description of me more than I hear God’s description of me.

For us to face the day, we have to know who we are. Not how the world describes us, but what God says. Do you know who you are? I have to admit I struggle with that. My friend Matt Wertz and I wrote a song based on God’s promises of who we are so I can sing it each morning to remind me. I thought I would share it with you. Here are the lyrics…

Verse 1.
I am God’s Child,
I am Christ’s Friend.
I am complete, redeemed, and forgiven in Him

No longer condemned
Known yet still loved
I am established, hidden in Him above

Chorus.
This is who I am
Forever I will be
Looking to The source of Life
To find my identity
This is who I am

Verse 2.
He’s chosen me.
Made me an heir.
I am secure, surrendering to His care.

I can’t be removed
Been bought with a price
I am justified, significant in His sight

Chorus.