ready BUT not prepared
I think I have been able to move past the last hard word we got through reading in Mark. However, it has taken me some time to really think about it and be able to move on with the event that took place. My mom reads my blog each time and so it is always interesting to hear what she has to say and after this last blog she reminded me that life isn’t about me, or her, or for that matter John the Baptist. The Christian Life is about working to bring honor to God and living in a way that whatever happens and whenever stuff happens we are ready for it.
Well, as we read on in Mark 1:16-20 we find where the first four disciples (Simon, Andrew, James, and John) were called to follow Jesus. In Mark’s account of all this he doesn’t tell the details of their call, but rather shows us that they were called and that they responded immediately to Jesus. Not only did they just leave their jobs and responsibilities, James and John left their father there at the sea shore with the help.
Some of you may not know this about me, but before I was a preacher, I was an accountant. I had felt the urging to be in the ministry at a very young age, but the truth was, at least for me, that most other preachers I knew of were not the kind of people I wanted to grow up to be. Furthermore, my dad was in Christian music, and I didn’t want to do that – I wanted to make my own way.
So, I did the logical thing, I ran as fast as I could away from the professional ministry. After-all I didn’t see myself like all the other future “preacher” boys for I felt like I was cool! I realize now, I am, and was, not. Haha! But I say all this to say, it was very difficult for me to leave what I thought I could do on my own, and I felt like I could do a lot. And honestly, I could, but I wasn’t happy on my own apart from being and doing what God had planned for me. I knew what it was I was supposed to do with my life, but I was too prideful to be in the ministry; I was too good to be a Christian; I was too cool to hang out with people who didn’t party how I wanted; and, I enjoyed too much junk to make as little money as ministers make. (At least that was my mindset.)
But it’s funny how Christ works. I became so miserable with where I was in life, all I wanted to do was leave my job to follow what it was I thought Christ wanted me to do at an early age: be a preacher. I remember like it was yesterday, telling my parents that I wasn’t happy, only to quit my job a few days later and beginning seminary the following week. They thought I was nuts for quitting my job, and I was, but what is interesting for me, is that I was ready like the disciples seemed to be in our story. Here’s the thing though. I was ready, but I wasn’t prepared.
I wonder if the disciples were ready for what was about to come in their life. Were they miserable and ready for change? We won’t ever know the answer to that, but I do know I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t read my Bible daily, and it’s hard for me to do that now; my lifestyle up to that point wasn’t the most “Christian” of lifestyles (if you know what I mean); I wasn’t ready to fit the status quo of Christianity; and, I still wrestled and continue wrestling, with wanting to please myself rather than please God.
Through all my insecurities, my doubts, and all the tough times I have faced, so far in my life, I still am not prepared. Like John (the one we just read about who ended up being beheaded) I am not, and get this, you are not worthy of tying his sandal strap. However, Jesus didn’t come for us to tie his shoe, but came to tie ours (metaphorically speaking). How humbling it is to think that Jesus only says “come follow me,” and how comforting it is to know that He will take care of all the rest. No matter our education, our faults, our fears, our inequities, our reputations, or our family’s reputation Christ will and can use you and he can use me despite those things. And better than anything, where we are weak, He makes us strong (2 Corinthians 12:10)!
All Jesus asks us to do is come and follow him on this journey. Like any journey or vacation, it is much more fun to have people to share all the excitement with, so let’s continue making this journey together. You still excited? I am, and right now I am pretty humbled too that Jesus would even want me and you to come along.